Red Sonja was made at a time when cinematic fantasy was in its final rigor mortis itches and was supposed to bring new life to the genre launched just four years earlier with Conan the Barbarian. Fittingly it was Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose career got a significant boost thanks to the iconic sword and sorcery film, who originally brought the genre to life but also was there to hammer the coffin in. Red Sonja is basically a competition of him and Brigitte Nielsen over who can pull a crazier grimace and who has the more bulging cleavage, at times interrupted by some spectacular old-school visual effects and people in crazy costumes stitched together from rubbish left in some obscure corners of Italian B-movie studios. This feministic version of Lord of the Rings sees a motley fellowship travel to destroy a green booger, which if left in the sun will destroy the world in thirteen days. Since thanks to Bryan Singer bohemian rhapsodies we will not see more dignified version of the emancipating fantasy, we will present our own meta-genre spin on this milestone of cinematic turds, courtesy of a Czech version by Samantha Bifidus and Jíra Fostrá.